Do you ever struggle to retain feelings of self-worth when you compare yourself to others?
Do feelings of jealousy well up when your partner pays attention to someone you feel is a possible threat to your relationship.
Do you worry every time your partner goes out alone, who they will meet, what they are saying and what they are doing?
Do you try to keep in touch with your partner when they are without you?
Do you check their emails, mobile phone or pockets, trying to find out if there is something going on that you need to know about?
Do you constantly compare yourself with others?
Do feelings of jealousy well up when your partner pays attention to someone you feel is a possible threat to your relationship.
Do you worry every time your partner goes out alone, who they will meet, what they are saying and what they are doing?
Do you try to keep in touch with your partner when they are without you?
Do you check their emails, mobile phone or pockets, trying to find out if there is something going on that you need to know about?
Do you constantly compare yourself with others?
..If this sounds familiar territory for you…you are not alone!
Jealousy can put a huge strain on any relationship no matter how well established, the constant checking up, questions, accusations and finger-pointing can leave a perfectly innocent partner feeling as though they are walking on eggshells, trying to avoid any situation of conversation that might result in a jealous outburst. Even the most innocuous incident can become fodder for a full blown argument. The jealous partner, often aware of their problem, swings between frustration, anger, self-blame, insecurity and absolute justification for their feelings and thoughts.
Feelings of Jealousy often bubble to surface when someone feels that are not good enough, or worthy of another’s respect, love and affection for who they are, and this is often at an unconscious level. It’s often a lack of self-esteem that makes the jealous person try to restrict the behaviour of their friends and lovers to protect the relationship, when in actual fact it is those very restrictions, limitations and the distrust that are far more likely to damage the relationships they are trying to protect.
If unjustifiable jealousy is left unchecked, it eventually destroys the very relationship that the jealous person is so intent on saving. This can become a self-fulfilling prophesy; the jealous person can then console themselves after the break up of their relationship that they were right all along about their partners lack of commitment to their relationship. In extreme cases jealousy can result in violent behaviour as the jealous person becomes more and more angry, insecure, distrustful, and fearful.
Overcoming jealousy takes patience and hard work. If you feel your jealousy stems from issues in childhood, you may find counselling or Hypnotherapy are useful. If you’re recovering from an affair, you’ll need to deal with those issues first.
What Self-Hypnosis can do to help with jealousy and possessiveness?
Feelings of jealousy are very closely connected to feelings of low self-esteem, feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and vulnerability, but they are even more closely connected to how your mind works, how you process information, how you interoperate the world around you, and this affects emotions and behaviours.
This processing of information becomes your core belief system. Your belief system originates from your earliest childhood experiences, these experiences are then added to during adolescence, and by the time you reach adulthood, you will have installed in your mind a huge amount of information, some of which you will have rejected outright as contrary to your belief system, and some you will accept, and all the information that you accept, you will regard as rational and logical. But there is flaw in this process, because what you have accepted as rational and logical might not be so. An example of what is known as a dysfunctional way of thinking is, “if I love someone enough they will love me back”, or, “I must be perfectly competent and entirely successful before I can be happy with myself”. If these thoughts seem rational, and logical, they will clash with reality, because in the real world, the belief behind these statements is far from rational or logical.
When this type of belief system clashes with others, that are indeed rational and logical, it causes distress to the person who holds these irrational and illogical values as the real truth; all the time believing that it is others that need to change, act differently or agree with their point of view.
No one wants to change so much of a person’s personality that they are no longer a unique individual, but if negative automatic thoughts, and irrational, illogical thinking is disrupting your relationships with others; it’s time to make some changes.
By using a Self-Hypnosis Audio CD or mp3 download you can combine the benefits of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Techniques and Hypnotherapy, this two pronged approach will help you combat your feelings of jealousy. With this form of therapy, the more you listen to the recording, the more it will assist in changing how you think, feel and react; boosting your feelings of self-worth to stop you feeling as though you have to compete. Encouraging you to feel good enough about yourself to realise that you don’t need to compete, and the feelings of jealousy will begin to reduce until they disappear, or the feelings are kept at an acceptable level that causes no conflict in your personal life, social life or your work life.
